Outside of that awesome experience at the 5K, this year has not started off well. Hitting the pavement or the track is rapidly becoming my Prozac. Sometimes I want to run until the problems in my life just disappear behind me. I just want to keep going and leave everything behind and start off brand new. New name, new everything. I was so burned out today that the track trip was going to get cancelled. But I went, because it needed to be done. Something in me wouldn't let me curl up on the couch and cry like normal. And I'm glad I went, because it feels like at least some of those demons have been exorcised out of me.
For a couple of days, I thought about passing up the 5K. It felt financially irresponsible to travel to a race given my situation. But now I realize how much I needed that race. I needed that great moment and that great memory. I needed it. Balance is a necessity when life kicks you around like a Gitmo guard. Even though my problems were still waiting for me at home, for a moment I got to run away from them. It took some of the wind out of the pain. The finish line of that race was my salvation.
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