Tales of a Fat Chick Running: The Warrior Within

This actually happened in March. I sometimes need time to ponder things, and by the time I was done pondering, the Boston attacks happened and I was too angry to write about it.

There were two races in the same town and I was interested in both. They were The Biggest Loser Off-Road Challenge and the Spartan Race. I have wanted to do the Spartan since discovering its existence. Fear, however, got the better of me and I signed up for The Biggest Loser race. My brother went with me for support. When we got to the town, it seemed as if everyone that was signed up for the Spartan was staying at the same hotel. I felt embarrassed for being such a chicken. I truly felt like the biggest loser. Sitting on the bench as an act of caution is forgivable. Fear is not. The next day at the site, my brother and I couldn't help but notice that the entire area was marked as being a Spartan Race, but only two tents were labeled as The Biggest Loser Off-Road Challenge. I kept asking, "So...where's our race?" To my complete and total shock, I learned at the BL tent that the "challenge" was to finish the Spartan Race! That's right. There was no BL loser race. I had actually registered for the Spartan but was considered part of Team BL!

I exclaimed, "Are you freaking KIDDING ME?! A surprise Spartan Race? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!"

It seemed like everyone there except Team BL looked like a personal trainer. My heart was in my throat, but I exhaled and went to the starting line with everyone else. As I went along the race path, it felt like I was just in the way of these elite runners. But every single one of them stopped to encourage me to keep going. After a while, the fear dissipated and exhilaration took over. I took my time with each obstacle. When I didn't complete an obstacle, I took my punishment like everyone else. Some racers even offered to do some of my burpees for me, an act that really touched me. Even though some obstacles were a serious challenge for me, to my surprise, I conquered the others like a boss! After finishing one of the more time-consuming obstacles (a low-crawl under barbed wire through thick Georgia mud...by the way, getting your 'fro caught in barbed wire is 10 tons of suck, but I digress...) I came face-to-face with the last obstacle: the gladiators. Instead of beating me up, one of them took my hand and ran with me across the finish line! At that moment, everything became surreal. I kept murmuring "I just finished a Spartan..." as a woman put the Spartan Race medal around my neck. She smiled at me and then another woman came up and put a Biggest Loser medal on me! After I got my Spartan t-shirt, I found out that Team BL also had a Spartan Race bib. I never picked my bib up because I didn't know that we were supposed to check in at the Spartan tent, too. On my way out the gate, I spotted one on the ground and took it home instead.

The bib is laminated and on a wall with the rest of my race bibs. It serves as a constant reminder that doubt is the real obstacle I must learn to conquer.

Meh...

It could have been a better week, but at least some effort was done. A lot of food hangovers, though. I also must work on sleep.

Behind on posting...again

I've been exercising. Doing a mile here or there. Today I finished a virtual race that is in honor of Autism Awareness Month. It always feels good to do something you like for a good cause. I'm behind on posting medals so here is what I've done since Too Hop t o Trot. All virtuals. Starting to miss a traditional starting line, but virtuals are cheaper.

A pleasant surprise

This morning I did the Runners United to Remember run for Boston. While I was out, a car stopped me. A lady saw my Biggest Loser race shirt and wanted to know if I had been on the show. She's a BBW, too, and wanted advice. I told her that it was a race that was sponsored by TBL. She seemed really excited about the idea of doing that race. I gave her my name and told her to friend me on Facebook. She said, "I walk fast, but I don't think I could run like you." I told her that we all walk before we run.

I'm always looking at other runners and thinking, "I can't wait until I can run like them." It's amazing to discover that someone is thinking the same thing about you.

4-15-13

I was supposed to run today.

It's an active.com training plan. The original plan was to do cross-training, but I wanted to run because it is supposed to rain tomorrow. I was supposed to run today. But this morning, my Spidey sense told me to put this run off until tomorrow. No, I am not saying that I sensed this tragedy was going to happen. I would never say that. My Spidey sense told me to put the run off, pure and simple.

Today was supposed to be a  happy day for the runner community. The Boston Marathon is a dream event right under the Olympics. I have never met a runner than didn't want to someday do the Boston. Yet today was tainted by an act of viciousness. In several Facebook posts by several friends that I would have never known had I not made the decision to become a runner, they all stated shock, because the runner community isn't one of violence. I've stated before that even at the starting line of a race being surrounded in a swell of people, I am calm. Crowds are uncomfortable for me, but not race crowds. I think it is because of the love and positivity that radiates in all directions. That oneness when we all move like one great, solid entity towards the same goal--the finish line. This bombing feels like an attack on that peace and that beauty. For runners, it is simply that. This is why I am sitting here fighting off tears. The runner community is a family. My family. I've found faith in humanity at every race. We are a family and for us, this hurts in ways that words cannot capture.

I was supposed to run today, but it didn't happen. Tomorrow I am. Tomorrow's run is for Boston.

Heart breaking for Boston

A lovely day

Today was just breathtakingly beautiful. The crisp green leaves of the trees were kissing powder blue skies. Wearing my Biggest Loser Run/Walk race tee, I took my dog for a walk. As I decided to venture out a bit further with my pooch than we normally do, I passed a runner, who gave me a nod which I returned. I thought as I passed him, "Yeah, I'm walking now, but I run, too!"

While I was out, I decided to try a route that has been in front of me forever, but I've always passed up. Turns out this is the ideal path to use! In my town, it isn't easy finding a run route that hasn't been done to death. This route was a welcomed exception.

It's still really beautiful outside. I think I might make a second walk, sans pooch.

"You're an obstacle racer."

Today was a rough day and I went home feeling really down. I put on my favorite race t-shirt and my favorite medals and just walked around because the clinking sound always made me feel better. 

During this time, I had an "Ah-ha!" moment. I was looking at my Spartan t-shirt and this little voice inside me goes, "Sheri, you're an obstacle racer. Getting through, around and over stuff is your idea of fun. You crawl under barbed wire, over crushed cars, through rivers and wade through mud. You can get through this, too. That's what you do."

Feeling better already.

Rest Week

It has been something of a relief not to have any exercise to do today. I am still stiff from charging through that last week of Insanity. It's hard to believe it's over. The temptation to send off for my shirt now is strong, but I will hold out until the final round is done and I have a photo that is worth sending. This would be a good time to try getting back on a schedule. I've been so out-of-sorts for so long. It would be nice to get back into a rhythm.

Poor daisy...

This is the first bloom of a plant that was given to me by a friend. I have been taking care of it for the better part of a year now. To the person that took it, ripping the stem up in the process: May you walk in on the recipient of this flower cheating on you with your best friend.

Meh Day

It feels strange...not having something to do right now. In regards to exercise, I mean. I always have something that needs to be done. Rest week may actually be more difficult than doing Insanity!

Next level

I still don't know how to completely use this thing. It's time to start randomly pushing buttons until something make sense!

Thoughts on Round 3 of Insanity

This was a very, very difficult round. It was started in January, but because of countless setbacks (illness, fatigue, etc.), weeks were constantly being put off to be repeated later. Physically, I feel like crap right now. There is no I might throw up, it's just a matter of when. I know it's only going to be worse in the morning. Despite the problems associated with getting this Round done, I have learned much from the experience. The primary lesson is that breaks are a necessity. Had I taken a sufficient break between Round 2 and Round 3, it probably wouldn't have been as daunting as it was. I wouldn't have had to fight through such a burnout.

Still, it's done now. I'm taking a week off (unless my body demands otherwise) and going back to a much less aggressive schedule. I'm going to run again. Goodbye for now, Shaun T. See you in July.

I think I'll drawn my cross-out line down the middle of the calendar boxes for Round 4.

R3 INSANITY: Day 55 FIT TEST #15

IT IS DONE!!!

Yes, I stayed up too late again. Yes, it could have waited. I did think about these things, but I also thought about how wonderful it would be to have the sun rise and be completely done. This decision was not entered into lightly. After the previous workout, I waited a few hours to see how I would feel. The desire to cross out that last box on the calendar won hands down. After so many setbacks and week repeats, it's over. It's completed. I can't believe it.

R3 INSANITY: Day 54

Today (yesterday) was Max Cardio Conditioning & Cardio Abs.

I was supposed to do this workout on Saturday, well...today. However, I was sitting at dinner thinking about how this all could be ended tonight. At the very least, this workout could be done tonight.

I don't remember how it went because I'm in too much pain.

Next: FINAL FIT TEST

R3 INSANITY: Day 51-53

I'm behind on posting...a little.

Day 51: Max Interval Circuit, my least favorite because of its length. This was a surprisingly good workout. The best I've had so far of Month 2.

Day 52: Max Interval Plyo. I switched Thursday and Friday's workouts. This was not a good time. I had to take multiple breaks and at one point was so close to throwing up that I had to stop the workout for a while. Even popping Pepto didn't help keep the nausea down.

Day 53: Core Cardio & Balance. My burnout was really showing with this workout, of course I did this not too long ago just to get it out of the way for Friday. It would be really nice to have the energy to get Saturday's workout done later on today, but I probably shouldn't hold my breathe on that.

Two more days and this round is done. I am so looking forward to Rest Week.

My little creations

When it comes to self-documentation, to say that I can be a little OCD is a bit of an understatement. But I am really proud of my creations. They keep me organized and focused. It doesn't hurt that they are really cute, too.

Workout Calendar:

"What's BGR?"

Every time I see this question, I cringe. It's because it can possibly open a floodgate that I don't want to face. BGR stands for Black Girls RUN!. It is a wonderful organization that was created by Toni Carey and Ashley Hicks. The reason that I cringe is because of the potential argument that my support of this organization makes me a racist. The name of the group came from a comment made by a relative of one of the founders, that Black women don't run.

Well, one of the reasons that this organization has become so large is because they weren't the only ones that hear this. Whenever anyone else I know from another ethnic group runs, it's no big deal. No one says a word. However, when I started running, people were acting like I opened a meth lab. Especially people from my ethnic group. That is a norm for Black women runners. I could go to one of my White friends and tell them how--again--I had to deal with someone complaining that my hair in its natural state wasn't feminine. Without a doubt, I would get a lecture about why I shouldn't think about things like that and how race doesn't matter. Well, that's not what it's about, and it doesn't change the fact that it hurts. It hurts when you don't get any support for your efforts. It hurts when you are excited about finishing your first half and you can count on one hand how many of your relatives care. It hurts that they were more excited at the idea of you straightening your hair than completing a race that is 13.1 miles long. That hurt is real and no lecture will make it go away.

The hair obsession is a throwback from that old mentality that the more European your features were, the better chance you had in life. The less "African" you looked somehow equated to beauty. People I know were worried that wearing my hair the way it was designed to be worn would hurt my chances of employment or guarantee that I would never get married. I stopped chemically straightening my hair because for me, it was too big of a hassle if I was going to become a runner. I had a choice between chemically straightened hair and running without hair drama. Running won in a landslide. On a side note, I would never get involved with a guy that pays more attention to my hair than I do. That's just weird, but I digress.

Then there is the fact that I haven't lost any weight. I've gotten smaller, but the weightloss hasn't been dramatic. Of course, I know how my body works. I never lose weight initially. It always happens after months of work. I went almost a year without losing a pound and then suddenly the weight just fell off over the following six months. Well, I wouldn't care if I lost an ounce or not. I love running. I love the running community. I love everything about it. The only time my weight bothers me is when I can't find run gear in my size. The irony of the fitness clothing industry is that it really doesn't cater to those who need to exercise the most. I love the sound of my feet on the pavement. I love getting lost in a mile. When I see other runners, I get instantly jealous because they are running and I'm not. But few outside the running community get this. If I swallowed tapeworms or got gastric bypass, I would be cheered. When I tell people that I have changed my eating habits because I'm training for a race, I get bullied like you would not believe. And it isn't intended to be in malice, these people think they are helping me. I was actually harassed by a waitress in addition to the people that I was having lunch with because I wasn't eating. I wasn't eating because I was in training...plus I had already eaten before the invitation. I went after being nagged to attend.

When I go to the Black Girls RUN! Facebook page, I feel safe. I feel loved. True, I get that from Tribesport and other groups, too. If anything, I'm actually surprised when I meet people of other races who are negative about my decision to become a runner because it so rare. When I say that the runner community is a family, it is truly a family. Race, religion, gender, economic status...none of that matters. The only thing that matters is that we all have the same passion, and that passion is running. If I look like I'm going to throw up or just standing by myself at a starting line, it is only a matter of time before a complete stranger starts talking to me, and we finish the race as friends. However, I've found that I can't explain to them how it hurt my feelings again or angered me that someone felt the need to tell me how wrong I am for wanting to run. I can't tell them how I don't even bother talking about races anymore because of the lack of support. I can tell my BGR sisters this, and they will understand how I feel and why I feel that way because they go through the same things. There are so many reasons I need this--we need this--group to exist. It's for little things like recommendations for skirts that actually cover a thicker rear or any other body part that doesn't fit some archaic doctor's chart. It's for bigger things like getting cornered and being lambasted for "trying to act White" because of wanting to be a runner. It's not a rallying point for a group based on race, its a haven for those who deal with such a negative reception to becoming a runner because of their race and from their race.

I need this group to exist. We need this group to exist. Black Girls RUN! has been a gift to me, and I love my BGR sisters. Together we continue to hit the pavement, no matter what others say.

R3 INSANITY: Day 50

Today was Max Cardio Conditioning & Cardio Abs

I broke a rule and did really late (technically really early) workouts. The temptation to get it done was just too strong. I ended up taking more breaks than I ever have because of fatigue. At least when I start Round 4, I will have gotten the break I should have taken after Round 2. Hopefully I can come back stronger, because Round 3 has been torture. My body feels like a limp noodle.

Tomorrow: Max Interval Circuit

R3 INSANITY: Day 49

Today was Max Interval Plyo.

Not impressive, but better than usual. It was done really late, which isn't good, but it is done.

Tomorrow: Max Cardio Conditioning & Cardio Abs

The home-stretch

This is it. The home-stretch. The last week of Insanity. This third round of Insanity has been unbelievably difficult to do. My body is clearly overworked. I look at my workout calendar for the month and sigh a relief. It is so wonderful to see this lighter schedule. Six days a week for months of just pure hard work. A schedule of running with a sprinkle of cross-training sounds like pure Heaven!

On a side note, I weighed myself yesterday. Nothing to panic about, but nothing to celebrate either. After all this work, I gained three pounds. True, I am noticing some differences physically--I am much stronger than before--but it would have been nice to see the scale move.