A great day

I had a great run today! I'm off work for the rest of the year so, I went to Mass and then headed for the trail afterward. I ran for a little over half an hour. I even tried to run up this monster hill (emphasis on "tried to run"). On the way back, I stopped for gas. It was nothing but guys and one grandma there. All eyes (and smiles) were on me in my BGR gear! I usually get weird looks when I'm out in my BGR gear. This was a very pleasant departure! This elderly black woman looked at me and she smiled at me and gave me a "You go girl!". I felt so proud. 

I don't understand why I miss runs the way I do. They always make me feel so alive after they are done!

The Assessment

There are 11 days left in the year, and while I've made some progress, there are some things in my life that need work if I'm going to get to my Running Nirvana. I realized that I am really terrible about allowing outside distractions (translation: other people) interfere with my health pursuits. I've got to stop being quiet and start saying, "Nope, it's exercise time. You can either join me or come back in an hour or so." While I made a great effort to take control of my sleep, I didn't realize that my sleep environment can easily take control of me. No more being patient with loud neighbors! I looked at my sleep record and saw that I was averaging 3.06 hours a night until I fought to get my sleep back. Is it any wonder why I've been struggling to workout?

Even though I have improved, I still have a problem with eating. Years ago I had this awesome rhythm: on Sundays I would cook my lunch for Monday and all the snacks I needed for that week. I need to reinvent that rhythm. Being tired and hungry is a recipe for disaster!

I also need to stop getting sucked into the snack vortex! When other people come over and they are hungry, there is a 99.999% chance I will eat whatever they are eating. I need to flip that script! Finally, I need to start being nicer to myself. I need to believe that I deserve to be on this journey. I need to stop letting people get in my head because I'm not the same size I was six years ago.

It's time for an upgrade.

RW suggestions for a playlist

http://www.runnersworld.com/running-playlists?cm_mmc=NL-Womens-_-1531882-_-12182013-_-20-Great-Playlists-for-Running

Back to the track

I didn't make it to the trail, so I headed to the track. It wasn't fun with people standing around on the track and their kids playing ball on the track. However, it is done. At the end of the day, that was all that mattered.

30 min run

Renewal pt 2

Renewal

The Blerch was tempting me something fierce this morning. But my dog would not let me go back to sleep. So I got up, got dressed and went out. After discovering that the track was being used by douchey track team, I decided to give a public trail a try. It was surprisingly devoid of people. The peace and calm was the perfect accompaniment to the scenery, which was reminiscent of Robert Frost. While I was out running, I felt alive for the first time in ages. Why was I not doing this every day? Why was that sloth monster holding me back? Being out on that trail made me feel whole, it woke up my listless soul. I felt connected and at peace. A 6.05 mi run/walk was completed today.

Time for some help

I've been a bad, bad chica.

I haven't exercised in ages--maybe once last month. This is shameful and highly disappointing. Maybe it is time to start looking for an accountability partner.

Ugly run done

It was short and it was ugly, but I got a run in this morning!

I asked Miles, he answered!

Anyone with a subscription to Runner's World is familiar with the column Ask Miles. Miles bluntly answers your runner-related questions ranging from spouses being jealous of run partners to road etiquette. I tweeted him this afternoon, but didn't expect a response because I figured he would be really backed up with tweets. He responded!

It was just around the block. Barely a mile of work, but oh it felt so wonderful to feel my feet hit that pavement during this morning's run!

10 Songs for Fall Running

I only liked three of them.

http://www.runnersworld.com/workout-music/10-songs-for-fall-running?cm_mmc=Facebook-_-RunnersWorld-_-Content-Blog-_-FallPlaylist

Emotional health is a component to fitness, too

Seeking sunrises

This month has been a rough one, my spirit was drained. It undoubtedly contributed to the rare trifecta I experienced this morning: my mind, body and spirit told me to get up and go run.

I've been surrounded by people all month yet felt completely alone. My space invaded, my words ignored. An enclave of takers yet very few to no givers. I had not run in a while. Yet this morning my soul told me that I needed to go run, that these demons plaguing it needed to be exorcised on the pavement. My body demanded that I get up to do this deed. Even my mind went, "No sleep-ins. Not today. This must be done to help you stay sane." So I got up and prepared to run. The sun had already kissed the horizon but was not quite up yet. By the time I rounded a corner, that iridescent sunrise was a beautiful payment for waking up in darkness.

As my feet hit the pavement, I tried to pound out those stresses, the things that hurt me, the things that hated me, the things that held me back. All the rage, tears, shame, and fears were ground under my feet into powder. I thought about something I read in the Oatmeal, about how he ran very fast so he could stand very still. I needed that now. I needed to be able to stand very still and I ran faster to achieve it. As predicted, the world decided to wake up while I was outside, but I didn't care about their stares or the pointing. Let them ogle and talk about this fat girl running. This run was for me and only me. I was not anyone's source of entertainment. This run was done to purify the dark night that haunted my soul. I'm a runner, that's what I do.

This morning I ran 5K in a little attempt to fight back for the parts of me that feel lost.

The Inner Warrior Woman strikes back

A late night workout is better than none at all! That inner warrior woman nagged me until I did The FIRM Maximum Cardio + Abs. That chick is relentless and I love her for it! Now I remember why I always dreaded this workout: Firm Master Instructor Allie del Rio isn't a woman...she's the Terminator! 

I'm going to have to ice this knee though, ouch!

No gold star this week

The week got away from me. I'm really disappointed that I didn't do a better job of adjusting to the schedule.

Battle of the Blerch!

The Blerch (that lazy part of you that you have to fight to achieve fitness) was working on me really hard this morning, and I confess that I caved. But this afternoon, that superwoman inside me was strong enough to fight back and get something done! Completed The FIRM Complete Aerobics and Weight Training workout! 

On a slightly side note, I forgot just how difficult that workout is! This will serve as a lesson to never give away the DVDs that have worked for you in the past just because you have gotten used to them.

Beat the Heat virtual 5K

Completely forgot to post this: Beat the Heat virtual 5K, done  on July 4!

running to heal

I haven't been doing any planned exercising because my current employment is essentially an all-night workout. Right now I'm more sore than when I did a half. I've been trying to make it feel more like a workout where I get paid. Lots of squats. LOTS of squats. I don't understand how it is possible for people to be overweight with a job like this. 

I would very much like to go running, but am afraid, because this new job has done a number on my feet. Every night I am in so much pain that I can barely walk. But I just got my heart broken this night, and I need to run it out. My hope is that it won't affect my ability to do this job. 

Virtual races that I need to remember to register for

Princess Challenge II

Midsummer Run

End of Summer Run

Fall for Running

Chesire Cat Challenge

S/t about zombies

Fit, Fab & Lean Halloween

Holiday Hustle series

Starfish Halloween thingy

Halloween Dog

Top Run

A Christmas Story

Well, at least this is a healthy reason to be broke.

The Blerch! Gaaah!

It's my fault, of course. I let watching The Exorcist (yes, I think religion-based horror is slightly more entertaining when watched on Sunday nights...I also like to listen to Carol King on Tuesdays) cloud my judgement. As a a result, I was deeply behind schedule this morning. I let the Blerch win. There was no way I was going to try to do anything on such an abysmal lack of sleep. My entire schedule is going to be revamped as a result, which will throw off my rhythm a bit. None that meets the definition of a workout-plan crisis.

C'est la guerre.

"Movie Moments"

Do you ever have one of those "Movie Moments" when you are out running? Those times when your stride is just right and the song playing on your iPod perfectly captures the moment like the soundtrack to your own personal life story...even nature sometimes falls in line with these perfect moments? I had one this morning. Just as the chorus of U2's "Beautiful Day" began during my run, the sun cracked the horizon. I turned the corner on my route to where I was running towards the sun. The brighter the sun shone, the faster I ran in its direction, like a child running into the embrace of her mother. I love moments like that. :)

That effin' Blerch

I had to dig deep to beat The Blerch this morning! I was telling myself really insane stuff like "If you don't get up and run, the terrorists will win!" 

2 mi. run in 90% humidity + 1 mi. walk with dog

The benefits of learning how to cook

Meals like this are why I stock up on lowfat cookbooks and have been trying to teach myself how to cook! Whole wheat pasta with lowfat Béchamel sauce and grilled chicken! I messed the sauce up at first, but fixed it by putting that clumpy mess in a blender.

FYI: Whole wheat pasta freezes REALLY well and thaws so much better that regular pasta! It microwaves really well, too. I think the thawed-out whole wheat pasta tasted better than when it comes straight out the pan. It has taken me a while to get used to switching to whole wheat pasta and rice, but I am coming around to it!

I AM THE WARRIOOOORRRR!

My inner warrior woman beat The Blerch this morning! Instead of coming up with a million reasons why I deserved to stay in bed instead of getting up that early to exercise, this very loud voice inside me was screaming, "NO!! NOT THIS TIME!!! GET YOUR BUTT UP AND DO THIS!!! WHAT IS THE POINT OF MAKING GOALS IF YOU MAKE EXCUSES NOT TO ATTEMPT THEM!!! I'M SICK OF THIS ****, YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO EXERCISE WHEN YOU GET HOME! GET UP, NOW!!!"

The Firm Calorie Killer workout (40 min.) and 20 min. of yoga!

A lovely morning

After winning a battle with the Sloth Monster this morning, I got up to prepare to run. My dog woke me up 10 minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off. It may be time to bring the spray-bottle-that-is-intended-for-cats out of retirement. Still, I got up and prepared to run, leaving five minutes earlier than planned. With Irene Cara's What A Feeling playing and "Black Girls RUN!" emblazoned across my chest, I went out this morning after getting up at 5:30 and ran 1.76 mi. around my area. Surprisingly, there were no other runners out (of course, they were probably done by 5:30) but I did see another chica out walking. There was only one other person out exercising this morning. She waved at me and I shot her a peace sign.

I got home with enough time to spare to be able to treat myself to a leisurely breakfast, complete with coffee in my perfectly shaped coffee cup. I even managed to brew the coffee well and not make the strong, brain-burning stuff that has become a norm for me.

Lovely morning, lovely breakfast.

The new order

The schedule was redone and going considerably better! My food list for this week is done, my workout planner was done weeks ago, and even though today had room for improvement it is still considerably better than last week!

A small walk was taken today, more for my dog than for me. She dragged me the entire way, as usual. We had just walked to the door when the sky exploded and very cold, very heavy rain fell. That walk was pleasant and refreshing, despite the brevity. I am glad some order has been established. Progress cannot be found in chaos.

Just because it's awesome

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/running

Yes, it is possible to grow cucumbers in a bag hanging on a fence! I noticed these little guys this afternoon!

The right to panic

This post isn't about running or general health and wellbeing, but there is definitely the presence of a psychological sickness that needs to be unveiled.

I vividly remember my mother--after telling my brothers that they weren't allowed to dress like Kris Kross--saying to me with a panic in her voice that my brothers "don't understand they can't dress that way". In that panicked voice she expressed her fears of her sons being what she called "marked".

I remember when I was stopped by a cop who first accused me of stealing my car, then said I smelled like drugs, then accused me of being drunk. After I demanded his badge number, he wrote me a ticket for speeding. I remember a year later, his wife waiting for me outside of a church and in her panicked voice expressing concern that he had "done something" to me because according to her, he "does things like that".

I remember my brother coming to my home one night because he promised to look at my tires. He walked from my mom's home to mine, which is a block in distance. This street was one of the routes we took every year as kids when we went trick-or-treating. I remember the look of pain and anger on his face. He told me that he had been stopped and questioned to why he was out walking in the neighborhood where he grew up.

I remember last night feeling a sick relief that I have no children, because I can't imagine the panic so many mothers were feeling.

When you are profiled, your life is in danger because the type of people that profile have already justified to themselves that they have the right to hurt you. The verdict for the Zimmerman trial has expanded the realm of profilers. Now civilians have permission to profile.

So don't you dare tell me not to be angry, and don't you dare tell me not to panic.

Truth.

20 things that no one tells you about running

My mind said no, but my body said, "Get your effin' butt up and exercise NOW!!!"

I didn't exercise yesterday and I almost didn't do it today, but it was as if I couldn't stay still so I pulled out The FIRM Supercharged Sculpting. It's great that for once, the desire for health is overcoming that sloth monster!

It's time for a change: Lifestyle Makeover Challenge

I'm putting myself on a six-week lifestyle makeover challenge. Although I am doing better, I'm not at the standard I want for myself. I read that if you do the same thing consistently for a month, your brain converts it into a habit, and if you do it for six months, it becomes second nature. So I'm going to start off with six weeks and go from there. My personal challenge will include making a daily schedule to follow with defined bed and wake-up times, required breakfast, lunch and dinner with two snacks and alternating 3 day/4 day exercise weeks. Sunday afternoons will be spent prepping meals for the next week. I will construct it this week and start it "officially" on Monday. I've already got charts and blank journal pages created, they just need a little adjusting. I will just keep to the grind I'm doing now for the rest of the week!
 

This used to be my norm years ago. It was a perfect flow and I lost a ton of weight from it. It's time to rediscover this mindset!

meh

Two mile walk. I was supposed to run, but hey...better than nothing.

My contribution to the "Hey Runner Girl" meme!

Exorcising negativity with exercise!

Today I was really upset after the mailman started asking me a lot of invasive questions about my packages. It caught me off guard because he treated me like I was being cross-examined. Later on, I was still upset about getting grilled about my mail. So I went for a walk for 0.80 mi. I started to feel a little better and decided to go to the track. I ran for 1.10 mi. before they started cutting off the lights. I'm feeling good because I was upset and I didn't go straight to the refrigerator! My first thought was, "I'm going for a walk to get this frustration out of me." When that wasn't enough, I decided to go run it out. I wish I could have run longer, but the plus is that I dealt with a negative situation by running it out!

Getting back on track!

I went to bed late again, and woke up late again. But instead of declaring the morning to be lost, I got up and did 1.06 mi. Sealed the deal with some yoga when I got home. The gameplan was to do 1.25, but that heat and humidity had other ideas! Hopefully I can go back out tonight and get some more distance!

Dreaded food hangover from hell

This was the worst one yet. I still have a doughnut in the fridge from yesterday and I'm afraid to eat it, that is how bad this particular food hangover was. Alright body, you win. No more intentional bad stuff. I can't take this kind of sickness anymore.

"You've done this before"

In 2001, I left the Air Force and was very much overweight. Between 2001 and 2003 I lost 100lbs with diet, exercise, and decreasing a LOT of negative stress in my life.  I moved, went to college and made some really wonderful friends. I lost that tremendous amount of weight kept it off for three years. My weight came back with a vengeance, however, after a combination of medical issues and being KO'd by one-too-many life crises. I stayed the same large size for almost six years, yet people would still approach me and treat me as if I murdered someone because I gained the weight back. Even strangers would ask, "What happened? You used to be so much smaller!" Often I would hurt their feelings right back, but never as much as they hurt mine. It took my brother to get me back in my good place. He said, "Even if you did gain it back, how many people can say they've lost 100lbs? You still did it. You've at least done it before."
So I think that will be my mantra: You've done this before. 

Weightloss wasn't my primary goal for becoming a runner. I just honestly like being a runner. Still, I take comfort in being reminded that I've walked down the weightloss road before. This time, however, I will run it. :)

My Spartan Race car sticker arrived today! Yay!

!#$!@#$# GPS...grumble grumble

I went out this morning, despite this wretched humidity. It felt like I had completed three miles, but my GPS said it was only 1.91 mi. This is how I reacted:

Sleepless in the South

I am making a commitment to get to bed at a decent hour. Lately, I have been staying up late to watch History 2 channel because they show the best stuff after midnight. Thus, denying me the sleep I need to get up early and run. This madness must cease!

Thunderbusted

I get up early, ready to run. It starts raining. No problem. Running in the rain is one of those things that I wasn't allowed to do as a kid, but promised I would do as an adult. Rainwater is awesome on my hair. I step outside, and the thunder starts. My run day has been thunderbusted. Oh well...I guess it will be a DVD day!

This week's veggies!

That kale is just too tasty! The farmer also gave everyone these beautiful sunflowers!

 

Happy National Running Day!

I only ran 1.13 mi today; silly me for waiting so late to get out. But at least I got out and RAN! On the track, a mom running with her kids and this twentysomething were the only ones on the track. The mom stopped me on my way out to ask if she could read the bib, and there was minor chit chat with the 20something because I thought I was in his way while I was taking pics, to which he assured me that I wasn't bothering him at all. Every time I speak to another runner, no matter how small the conversation, I feel lifted. I feel like I could go another mile!

Change the "It's raining today" to "It's too hot" and that sums up the internal battle I faced this morning.

This week's veggies!

Not a bad day!

Did 5K (mostly walking, but ran 1.06 mi of it) and visited a former professor this morning. I walked my dog for 1 mi after that. Feeling refreshed and energized!

Which type are you?

I was thinking about road trips to races and came up with this.

I think I have a problem

I'm looking at all of these AWESOME races in Florida and am seriously considering job hunting and relocating there. I'm not a FL person. If given the option, I would choose the Pacific Ocean any day of the week over the Atlantic, but these races are just amazing!

Fit, Fab & Lean 5K

Today I ran 2.3 mi, completing a 5K that was started and abandoned yesterday. At the track, it was just me and two other people, a twentysomething at the top of his game and an eightysomething that ran laps around me. We were at different levels and different chapters of our lives, but we were all runners. There were nothing but runners out there. And it seemed like that moment was shared, especially when the eightysomething commended me for coming out to run.

Reptile Season

I can't relax during the spring and summer when I'm out walking or running. In fact, the entire time I'm on a heightened alert. Why?

Reptiles.

Snakes are as common as weeds this far below the Mason-Dixon, and they love to poke their pointy, slit-eyed heads out during this time. This particular section of the South is viper central. It's not unusual to find a giant snake carcass by the road or a viper's severed head on the sidewalk. Shovels are the weapon of choice for residents. My brother and I saw a dead python (no exaggeration...it was an actual python) on top of a trash can. This was probably a poorly disposed family pet that wandered into someone's backyard, but given the Florida python invasion has been traveling north, it is not to big of a stretch to start making panic-worthy assumptions.

So I run, but instead of a blind bliss (or grimaced curse), every single thing on the ground is either potentially a snake or a shadow of a snake. I can't enjoy the beauty of the changed season because I've got one eye trained on the ground looking for serpents. Running through a canopy of trees used to be a beautiful, shady event. Winter is just a milder, reptile-free spring, so I have that opportunity. Now I'm wondering how many tree-climbing reptiles exist in the South.

Truth be told, I haven't seen a living snake in the wild in years. A snake head or a road snake tattoo, yes, but not a live one. I've missed the ones that have been near me, even that dangerous moccasin that decided to follow us during the Barbarian Challenge last year.

And with all eyes turned to Heaven, I will be so lucky as to not see one this year, too.

Progress!

I think I can reach the end of the wall by the end of the year!

Armed Forces virtual 5K

That's me on the right, years ago when I was in the Air Force. 

Well...

I took my dog for a walk. Once upon a time, I vowed that wouldn't count as my exercise. C'est la guerre.

Mother Knows Best virtual 5K

A small but pleasant victory

It has been hard for me to run lately. Today, the only goal was to get around the block. When I stepped outside, my first thought was to walk it, but it was if my body wouldn't let me. It needed that run. My form was sloppy and penguinish. My legs were heavy. Still, that run was needed and nothing in me would let me stop to walk. It was so great when it was over! I'm tired of breaking my 5K virtuals up. I want to run a full one again. This is the year that I hope to add miles, not take away.

Here's hoping for an early rise tomorrow with laced-up sneakers that rhythmically pound the pavement.

If I'm so excited about running, why am I not doing it?

I haven't exercised this week. Part of the reason I haven't exercises this week can be attributed to the gross lack of sleep I experienced. I also have been really stressed. Maybe that Sunday incident took more of a toll that I thought. Who knows? All I know is that I get happy tingles in my brain when I think about running, I am envious of people I see running...yet I am not running. It irks me a great deal. Perhaps I can get some miles in tomorrow.

Cinco de Miles 5K

It shouldn't have been this difficult...

This morning I went out to do the Cinco de Miles virtual 5K. Should have been easy. It was a cool morning, beautiful and sunny. This should have been easy. Aside from a throbbing toe, my body felt fine. My mind, however, was in complete turmoil and that run wasn't getting those demons out. True, my route included the vehicular artery that lead to one of my least favorite places in the world. I've taken this path many times, but this being Sunday meant that there were many people heading in that direction. I struggle as it is with not having the peace of mind while I'm out, but this time it went to another level. I spent the run angry and frustrated, my legs felt heavier with each step. It was a very, very unpleasant run and the problem was all mental. Too many thoughts ruined what should have been a great run.

Going to retreat to my corner now.

May the Fourth Be With You 5K

It was sluggish, but at least it is DONE!

Shut UP!

Guess who bought a dress in a smaller size? THIS CHICK!

Tales of a Fat Chick Running: The Warrior Within

This actually happened in March. I sometimes need time to ponder things, and by the time I was done pondering, the Boston attacks happened and I was too angry to write about it.

There were two races in the same town and I was interested in both. They were The Biggest Loser Off-Road Challenge and the Spartan Race. I have wanted to do the Spartan since discovering its existence. Fear, however, got the better of me and I signed up for The Biggest Loser race. My brother went with me for support. When we got to the town, it seemed as if everyone that was signed up for the Spartan was staying at the same hotel. I felt embarrassed for being such a chicken. I truly felt like the biggest loser. Sitting on the bench as an act of caution is forgivable. Fear is not. The next day at the site, my brother and I couldn't help but notice that the entire area was marked as being a Spartan Race, but only two tents were labeled as The Biggest Loser Off-Road Challenge. I kept asking, "So...where's our race?" To my complete and total shock, I learned at the BL tent that the "challenge" was to finish the Spartan Race! That's right. There was no BL loser race. I had actually registered for the Spartan but was considered part of Team BL!

I exclaimed, "Are you freaking KIDDING ME?! A surprise Spartan Race? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!"

It seemed like everyone there except Team BL looked like a personal trainer. My heart was in my throat, but I exhaled and went to the starting line with everyone else. As I went along the race path, it felt like I was just in the way of these elite runners. But every single one of them stopped to encourage me to keep going. After a while, the fear dissipated and exhilaration took over. I took my time with each obstacle. When I didn't complete an obstacle, I took my punishment like everyone else. Some racers even offered to do some of my burpees for me, an act that really touched me. Even though some obstacles were a serious challenge for me, to my surprise, I conquered the others like a boss! After finishing one of the more time-consuming obstacles (a low-crawl under barbed wire through thick Georgia mud...by the way, getting your 'fro caught in barbed wire is 10 tons of suck, but I digress...) I came face-to-face with the last obstacle: the gladiators. Instead of beating me up, one of them took my hand and ran with me across the finish line! At that moment, everything became surreal. I kept murmuring "I just finished a Spartan..." as a woman put the Spartan Race medal around my neck. She smiled at me and then another woman came up and put a Biggest Loser medal on me! After I got my Spartan t-shirt, I found out that Team BL also had a Spartan Race bib. I never picked my bib up because I didn't know that we were supposed to check in at the Spartan tent, too. On my way out the gate, I spotted one on the ground and took it home instead.

The bib is laminated and on a wall with the rest of my race bibs. It serves as a constant reminder that doubt is the real obstacle I must learn to conquer.

Meh...

It could have been a better week, but at least some effort was done. A lot of food hangovers, though. I also must work on sleep.