This month has been a rough one, my spirit was drained. It undoubtedly contributed to the rare trifecta I experienced this morning: my mind, body and spirit told me to get up and go run.
I've been surrounded by people all month yet felt completely alone. My space invaded, my words ignored. An enclave of takers yet very few to no givers. I had not run in a while. Yet this morning my soul told me that I needed to go run, that these demons plaguing it needed to be exorcised on the pavement. My body demanded that I get up to do this deed. Even my mind went, "No sleep-ins. Not today. This must be done to help you stay sane." So I got up and prepared to run. The sun had already kissed the horizon but was not quite up yet. By the time I rounded a corner, that iridescent sunrise was a beautiful payment for waking up in darkness.
As my feet hit the pavement, I tried to pound out those stresses, the things that hurt me, the things that hated me, the things that held me back. All the rage, tears, shame, and fears were ground under my feet into powder. I thought about something I read in the Oatmeal, about how he ran very fast so he could stand very still. I needed that now. I needed to be able to stand very still and I ran faster to achieve it. As predicted, the world decided to wake up while I was outside, but I didn't care about their stares or the pointing. Let them ogle and talk about this fat girl running. This run was for me and only me. I was not anyone's source of entertainment. This run was done to purify the dark night that haunted my soul. I'm a runner, that's what I do.
This morning I ran 5K in a little attempt to fight back for the parts of me that feel lost.
No comments:
Post a Comment