Today started off weird and things went from bad to worse in record time. Every positive thought that kept me going through the day was ripped from me and shredded beyond repair. Once again I was reenacting Job and shaking my fist at God. I was wondering was this my norm. I was wondering was my constant hope that God would provide a pleasant future in exchange for a hellish past a stupid, childish wish. The very last thing I had to hold on to was my walk/run today, and it seemed like even that was in danger. I suddenly had no time for the route I was looking forward to taking. So I thought, "Fine. I'll just go to the track." My day and my peace of mind was just gradually being chipped away until one sentence proved to be the proverbial back-breaking straw. And then I was in my car alone, sobbing at a stop sign. I drove home with no more positive thoughts, no more hopes hanging on thin threads. There was nothing left except my trip to the track.
So I went inside and put my angriest playlist on my iPod and drove to the track leaving my cell phone and all the crap that it brought to me behind. It had been raining most of the day. Didn't care. The track surprisingly was open and the unnaturally arrogant track team was absent. This made me feel better. I started out with a walk and then pounded the ground to the sounds of heavy metal and the angriest angry woman music in my library. Around my third walk/run set, I noticed the clouds had a hole in them that looked a little like a heart. Then I thought, "No, that's more of a tooth-shape." Just moments after my cynical thought, the shifting clouds turned that round, tooth-shape into a beautiful little heart-shaped hole in the clouds. With a pointy end and everything. It was so perfect and so amazing that I just burst into one of those wide-mouth happy smiles. I'm not forgotten, and I'm not forsaken. God does love me.
Noah got a rainbow, I got a heart.
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