Ok, first of all, my trainer

singles me out during leg lifts (Trainer: "I'm waiting for Sheri to get her ass off the ground." Me: "I'm waiting for you to kiss my ass!") and then he turns the fact that I didn't wear yoga pants into an event. Trainer: "Sheri's wearing tights? You finally got rid of those too-big culottes? I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO SHERI'S TIGHTS." #mitchiwillcutyou

Tonight, I went to a wedding that was held in a funeral home chapel of a graveyard. The reception was in a place where people compete cows. I caught a fraction of the bouquet. I am totallly fucked up and freely admit that this is a drunk post. I love you chicks, good night!

Different machine in a completely different building...and I still can't get any chips!!!

So after I got home I was greeted by my dog. She has been able to comfortably sit on one of my legs because my legs were so large. This morning, however, she couldn't. She had to sit on my lap. She then gives me this really mean look, as if she was thinking, "Human, what the hell

did you do to my bench?"

DRUMROLL!

It happened. It finally happened. The best that I could do for years was get into the high 2-4's. Today I got into the 2-3's!

100th BOOTCAMP CLASS!!!

Wow!

After bootcamp, I noticed my shirt seemed longer. This shirt has never gotten past my hips before. I was even wearing a longer shirt under it to avoid flashing my belly. The shirt hasn't changed...I HAVE.

Playing catchup

I'm SEVERELY behind on posts. To update I've been in a bootcamp for almost 100 days now. So much work to do...

New Tradition?

I think that I'm going to start buying celebratory wines for certain accomplishments and save them for those events. A wine for a fitness goal, a wine for a race goal, etc. I think this would be a beautiful motivational ritual.

Went out tonight for a 1.67 mi walk with my SIL. We saw some pear trees that were heavy with fruit!

Moonlight Madness

We finally have a name for our group: Moonlight Madness! 2.86 mi for me. My Nike app said that I ran my fastest mile tonight, which is great and would explain why I am feeling like tenderized meat right now.

Plated pt. 2: Chicken Roulade

This is the second meal from the trial shipment from Plated. Chicken Roulade. The only thing I had to supply was olive oil, salt and pepper. Against my better judgement, I used all of the lemon (the juice from the entire lemon plus all of the zest) that the recipe demanded, but it would have been better to use less. 

Plated, pt 1: Soba w Salmon

I received my Plated.com shipment on Thursday, but was too lazy to cook so it became Friday's dinner. Overall, it's not bad. The food is clean and simple. The meal was very easy to prepare. I like how they packaged the ingredients. Last night I had Soba with Salmon. It claims to provide two servings, but it could easily be four, and if used as a side dish, six. While I won't become a regular subscriber because my budget is super-tight, I will stay on and order à la carte on occasion. I will post the results of the Chicken Remoulade soon.

Another night at the track

My foot was sore, but we got 4.19 mi in tonight!

Tonight, I felt like a runner

My SIL has been pretty gungho about exercising, and I am eager to keep up...at least I'm trying to do that.

I'm currently attempting for the umpteenth time to finish the active. com marathon training program. I have never made it this far in the program before. It hasn't been easy, especially with the double workout in the evening. Yet I am determined to continue this, despite the fact that I feel like I've been beaten up by ninjas the next day. In fact, I've been bribing myself with the promise of a monthly reward for finishing all of my workouts. Right now, I'm looking at this month's potential award: a toaster. I'm not talking about some crap-happy, crumb-collecting, can't-toast-a-bagel-worth-s***-from-Walmart toaster, I mean a really nice toaster.

But the final decision is up in the air on a potential reward.

Last night, we walked over 4 mi. Tonight, we did another 4 mi + hills. I was supposed to run today. That heavily hilly nighttime stroll did a number on my legs, reducing them to jelly. Yet I still wanted to run. After we all said our goodbyes and went to our respective homes, I went inside, and I ran.

I ran up and down the hallway, in the living room and around the coffee table. That was my route. Despite the air conditioning, I still sweated, even more so than out in the soul-sucking humidity which is the hallmark of a Southern summer's eve. I ran with my Nike app, afraid that it would betray me and post my stats on Facebook. I ran indoors around furniture until I reached 2.13 mi. It wasn't however, the distance that gave me reason to celebrate. My gait had widened. I have been dredging along with an embarrassing 18 min run. Tonight, I got as low as 12 minutes. That may seem like a joke to the more seasoned runner, but tonight, I felt like I was flying.

Sisters(in-law) are doing it for themselves!

4.35 mi with my SIL!

Night at the track

1.75 mi at the track tonight! I wasn't the only one there taking advantage of this low humidity!

Milestone!

I can't emphasis how slow I run. My form is sloppy and a speed walker can pass me easily. Even with that, I have passed people before. Tonight at the track, I passed this couple not once but TWICE. I've never passed anyone twice before...not even walkers. In fact, often walkers pass me as I slog along. Even though my legs felt twice as heavy tonight, when I passed by them the second time I felt like Flo Jo!

JUNE IS CONQUERED!

As of yesterday afternoon, I am now DONE with every workout that was scheduled this month! All skipped workouts were made up, every single workout is DONE! *singing "I'm gonna get a present...I'm gonna get a present!*

Getting it done...with a little bribery

On the last day of every month, I plan my workouts for the next month. I wake up every morning with a scheduled workout or rest day (I do my meals the same way, but I shop once a week). Not once this year have I completed an entire month without skipping days, usually due to sloth. This month, I promised myself a gift for completing every workout. TWO WORKOUT DAYS LEFT! I'm feeling so proud right now! I even made up three days that I missed! I'm going to have a reward for each month as a motivator!

Some relationship advice

Date a girl who runs

House Run

I know I shouldn't be up this late, but after getting my run killed by oversleeping and thunderstorms, I decided to run around the house for about an hour around 11 P.M.

National Running Day

They like it! They like it!

Hello Chick!

I never run without my shades, which I couldn't find this morning. All I could find were these big, red, attention-that-I-don't-want-getting Hello Kitty shades that my niece left in my car. But I was so glad to be on the pavement this morning I didn't even mind the extra stares that I got. It was only a 1.83 mi run, but my soul feels like it's sitting in a hot tub right now. :)

A minor, slightly erratic rant regarding fat stereotypes that I endure

Being a female of Rubenesque proportions, people make assumptions about me regularly. Here's the truth: yes, I'm big. But guess what? I'm not diabetic. My blood sugar was so great that the doctor checked it three times because he was convinced that wasn't possible for someone my size. The only time my blood pressure goes out-of-whack is when dealing with jerks and the pains that come with Life. Otherwise, I'm healthy. I've finished 54 races since January 2012, including two half-marathons (13.1 miles...each), a 10K (6.2 miles), and five obstacle runs--something they've never heard off--such as the Spartan Race and the Barbarian Challenge. Some of the finest men I've ever seen in my life have grabbed my hand at races and run with me across finish lines. I'm training for my first marathon (26.2 miles). Newsflash: I'm just getting warmed up. While their butts were asleep or watching TV, I was running at 5 A.M., running at 10 P.M., running in the rain, the cold, the heat, running at night despite my fear of it, running with weapons to protect myself from creeps, walking when I got tired then turning around, going home. Those are things that I do before most people hit their snooze button in the morning or set their alarm clocks at night. I've completed the Insanity program THREE TIMES. I bet my knees are in better shape than 2/3 of the people that assume mine are worn out. My weight will come off when it feels like it. Until then, I'm going to just keep going down the road of health and enjoy the ride. My size does not define me and neither do body-shamers. I'm bigger than that.

The Death of Dr. Pepper

This may seem lame, but this is a big deal for me. I can't bring myself to drink soda. Wine or something-plus-diet Coke/diet Dr. Pepper have always been my go-to, at-home chill drinks on those days when I just wanted to unwind. I've had a bottle of rum sitting in my fridge because I couldn't bring myself to drink soda. Now I'm blending it with fruit into a loaded smoothie. Out-of-the-blue and for no reason, soda just became physically repugnant to me. The idea of drinking one is nauseating right now. I also got take-out with my niece. Can't eat it. I tried. I've had the guilt of throwing food away drilled deep in my head since childhood, yet the only thing I want to do with this take-out is toss it. This has NEVER happened before. Clean eating, I think I'm ready for you.

Marathon Training Day 3 & 4

Day 3: It started off great. I got my miles done, running half of them as scheduled. I felt great and went home to finish it with some yoga. After the yoga, I headed to the grocer's only to discover that a weirdo that I encountered at a gas station a few weeks ago had followed me home and was parked outside across the street from my home. I couldn't see the driver. When I got in my car and cranked it, the driver started that truck. I watched him in my rearview follow me to the grocer's. He parked his car next to mine and came to my door. I started snapping pictures of him with my phone and he started running. I got out of my car and started snapping pictures of him as he escaped and took everything I had to the police. Apparently they've been getting more complaints about him. I filed a report.

I wasn't afraid, I was pissed. I'm STILL pissed. I was shaking with rage the rest of the day. No one lectured me about changing my run/walk routes, which I appreciated, because my front door opens up to the street where he was parked. I'm not changing my fucking routes anymore. If he tries to come near me again, I'll be ready for his ass. I don't care what happens, I'm done with these bullshit, useless precautions. They don't work. I know they don't work. I'm sick of society putting the responsibility and blame of dealing with predators on their targets. I'm done with enduring this bullshit. This time I'm fighting back.


Day 4: Today was a day of "supposed to's". I was supposed to x-train, but I switched workouts because thunderstorms are supposed to happen all day tomorrow. I was supposed to go to the trail, but decided to take my miles around the neighborhood. I was supposed to run, but decided to walk. In the end, I suppose that it doesn't matter as long as I got off the couch. I'm feeling really proud right now. 5K in the afternoon.

Marathon Training Day 2

Tonight was unnecessarily stressful, thanks to people that can't follow simple directives. Added stress caused by d***ish response to reinforced plea to follow directives. Nevertheless, even though I waited really late to do my xtraining, it is DONE! I'm feeling really proud right now. It's ridiculous that I waited this late to workout, but at least I worked out! Chased this with some nighttime yoga.

Playing Catch-up: Little Rock Half Marathon (3-2-14)

(Copied from 3/3/14 Facebook post)
 
I had an AMAZING time this weekend in Little Rock with my awesome BGR sisters Shilonqua, Kimberly, Temeka and LaJuana! Half marathon #2 is DONE with an unexpected PR! The weather went from acceptable to chilly to rainy to "What the...is that snow?" to freezing, "I think we may be in the first stages of hypothermia" sleet in a matter of hours. Thank you, Mr. Medic Person for helping me with those awful cramps I got at the finish line, even though I tried to limp away from you to get my medal. Thank you, BGR Little Rock for the pre-race goodie bags and for being such gracious hostesses and thanks to Little Rock Marathon even though it had to shut down early because of Winter Storm Titan. The lipstick table at Mile 12 was a cute idea! Thanks to my SIL for creating what was the best looking tutu at the race. Congrats to all of my wonderful travel companions for finishing strong and congrats to Shilonqua for completing her 10th marathon!

Marathon Training, Day 1

Yes, you read it correctly. Marathon training. The "M" word. Not 3.1 miles, not 6.2...not even 13.1. No, the big one. Twenty-six point freaking two miles.

I'm ready to be a long distance runner. I've wanted this for so long. My race is chosen and it's in November. There is plenty of time to do this. I want to know what it feels like to RUN 20 miles just because I could. It's time to stop letting sloth rule my life. I don't understand why I do when I know how awesome I feel after hitting that pavement. Part of the problem has been sleep, but one of the major obstacles of that has (hopefully) been permanently nixed.

I want to do a marathon. As frightening as the prospect is, I want this checked off my runner's list. Today is the first day on that path.

My journey starts now.

Happy Mail

Worth the read: 1200 Calories

http://sophieologie.me/2013/09/26/1200-calories/

Food Fixes

There are no words in the English language that can convey how much I stink at making Chinese food, especially lowfat Chinese food. Every attempt has been an exercise in blah. Today, however, I decided to give it another go. I added a tablespoon of dry Sherry to this Cashew Chicken dish and it made a HUGE difference!

Hot Chocolate 15K/5K 2014

So epic, so awesome! Doing a race on my birthday! I looked wonderfully ridiculous with pink polka dot balloons pinned to my badonkadonk. Some of the runners even sang "Happy Birthday" to me on the course! Fabulous day!

The Insanity Continues...Round 4, Fit Test #16

I cannot believe that I'm doing this s*** again. I haven't been exercising, even though I want to do it. It was a BEAUTIFUL day and I didn't run. Something must be done. So for some unknown reason, I decided, "Hey...I'll just start Insanity again since it's Monday."

W...T...unvarnished...F...

And it was terrible. Terrible! I don't think I did this bad when I started Round 1! So awful, cardio carnage. Absolute cardio carnage. It was so awful, that I feel like I should do penance for it.


21 switch kicks
10 power jacks
40 power knees
1   power jumps
3   globe jumps
2   suicide jumps
0   push-up jacks
5   low-plank obliques

Tomorrow:  Plyometric Cardio Circuit (damn, damn, DAAAAMMNNN!!!)

Pavement rainbows

Hey...it counts as crosstraining for me!

This is one shelf of books (and CDs) in my home. I was moving furniture around and ended up moving four bookshelves in the process. There might have been 12 paperbacks out of all the books. The rest are horribly heavy hardcovers. As far as I'm concerned, that is my strength workout for the day.

A much needed excursion

I've never fared well with groups. When it came to group work in class, I loathed it simply because I always ended up doing the lion's share of the work. When it comes to running with a group, however, it is more of a case of intimidation. Sure, I've done my fair share of races, especially for a beginner, but I'm dreadfully slow. I'm old-turtle-trapped-in-molasses slow. As long as you don't mind my lagging behind, I will eventually get there.

And that is a source of consternation for me, because I don't like holding people back. I also worry that the thought will go through their minds, "Wow, if she's that slow, how did she do that XYZ race?" Well, I did it. It just took me a while to get to the finish line.

Today I went out with a group, a local BGR group. The irony of my source of intimidation is that it makes me panic and go even slower, thus risking being the holdout that I dreaded. Even though I was among the last, I still felt like a winner. I was greeted in such a welcoming manner that is still shocking to me. People I just met remembered my posts on our page. They wanted to have their photos taken with me. The love and appreciation I felt was unmeasurable. I cling to that bright light, and I cannot wait to run with these ladies again.

Shoot for the Moon challenge

Guess who's happy about today's mail? THIS CHICK!

Last year, I participated in a year-long group challenge called "Shoot for the Moon". The goal was for the group to cumulatively run or walk enough miles over the year that would equate to the distance to the moon. We logged our miles online daily. The goal was to reach 238,900 miles by December 31. We reached 258,974 miles! You get the medal or t-shirt after the race is over. My challenge finisher package arrived today! The medal is bigger than a DVD!

Fat Chick Running, ready for Year 3

In 2012, I decided to give running another try after giving up on the pursuit numerous times. That year I finished 12 races. In 2013, I finished 34 races--including my first half marathon and my first Spartan--and two challenges (Dirt in Your Skirt 100 and Shoot for the Moon). Let's see how much of that wall I can cover with race bibs in 2014!

I'M IN RUNNER'S WORLD (well, my question is, but still)!!!

Here is the original tweet.